dog. 27 April 2008
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It’s been foreverdy since I’ve actually sat down and watched some television, excluding of course the hallmark channel which is like ambien for me. After The Wire ended, I pretty much got too busy and too uninterested to commit to any tv time. This has changed, however, with my discovery of the most entertaining tv show of all time: Showdog Moms and Dads. Animal Planet airs this gem on Saturday nights at 9, and they even furnish an aperitif called Groomer Has It. So, if you are a fan of awesomeness then pop some p-corn and watch the trials and tribulations of Chalcey’s paw injury defcon crisis and Liberace’s inability to drop his own balls. Enjoy!
flu. 29 October 2007
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the flu has taught me a lot over the past five days, mostly about what’s on tv from 2-6 a.m. here’s what i’ve learned:
the best way to tone your abs is through a process called “muscle confusion.” apparently, confused muscles get ripped.
creepshow and creepshow 2 are not scary movies…unless it’s 4:45 in the morning, in which case, they’re terrifying…especially the one about the kids who go to the lake and that tar blob comes and melts their skin off…
nightcourt is not funny…there’s nothing funny about miscarried justice…
old lifetime movies are awesome from beginning to end (example, A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story starring Meredith Baxter Birney)…new lifetime movies are boring except for the last 15 minutes when some type of revenge happens…
any show or movie involving a psychic cop is solid gold…(“Fear” with Ally Sheedy being the best)
even though i know that “ionic technology” is bulls**t, i still want the ionic toothbrush…
the Hallmark channel makes fevers better
Russ Meyer movies make fevers worse.
msw 2 19 August 2007
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“There was yet another murder in cabot cove…they should change the
name of the town to coffin cove.” -h
“I wish you were here last night…msw was a TWO PARTER! jb’s arch
rival, the number#1 murder mystery writer, played by jean simmons,
tries to murder her! Or so you think. Cat fight!” -h
msw 29 July 2007
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“hey, i forgot to give you a synopsis of last night’s MSW –
you’ll never believe who the accused murderer was this time … it
wasn’t jessica, her niece, grady, grady’s wife, or any other of
jessica’s family, friends, or acquaintances. It was Frank Fletcher,
jb’s dead husband. yep. yep.
what will they come up with next?” -h
“the star of last’s night episode was none other than mr. marc
singer, otherwise known as … THE BEASTMASTER! oh oh oh ” -h
“i’m starting to think jessica fletcher is a serial killer. for realsies.” -h
Storyboxin’ 16 May 2007
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Last week, there was an “Airwolf” marathon on Sci-Fi. I’m guessing this marathon was a reaction the release of the show’s second season on DVD, but the reason doesn’t really matter when you get 16 hours over two days of the single greatest show about a super-advanced helicopter battling the morally ambiguous intelligence communities of the world’s super powers. Starring the ever-alcoholic Jan-Michael Vincent as Stringfellow Hawke, a Vietnam vet looking for his MIA brother, Sinjin. Stringfellow kills time by doing good wherever he can, playing the cello, collecting priceless art, tenderly kissing ladies, and flying the afore mentioned chopper, which can shoot super missiles and achieve mach one at the push of the “turbo” button. Damn Yah! If this show were jam, it would be huckleberry, rare and bittersweet.
